Monday, July 18, 2005

Greatest fear

I was surfing the net sometime back and I found an interview with A.R. Rahman. I saw that interview in Rendezvous with Simi Garewal some 2 years ago. Some guy must have recorded and put that on net..... so I played it in my mp3 player.

It was a nice one where he talks about his past, present and about his music. Simi, I observed usually asks many such questions which make the guests to think for a while before they can answer. So was ARR......thinking......taking his time to answer.....pausing occasionally and is very good at giving succinct replies.

One such question was, "What is your greatest fear?". He replied, "To lose your loved ones". True, the answer for that question could be anything. But I could relate to what he said. It is really frightening to imagine about any person whom you see all the time in front of you, suddenly disappears forever. There was this other interview of Javed Akthar few years back, where he mentioned that those were really horrible times for him when both his parents expired. "I felt I was standing in front of a tiger", he exclaimed.

What made me to bring about this topic is just a couple of days back, my father called me from India. He never calls unless its an emergency. It was about my 10-year old dog, Bruno. It's sick and vomiting foam. This was unusual. He said he's taking Bruno to hospital and take X-ray to see what happened. Its stomach was bulging it seems and isn't looking good.

After couple of hours, I was told that Bruno can survive a maximum of 6 months. Its spleen and liver stopped functioning and when it deteriorates, it'll be euthanized. The very thought of it was shocking. We all raised Bruno. ......

It came to our house during the 1996 world-cup final. Sri Lanka was winning at that time and we were excited to see a small animal in our drawing room, which was nothing but a pseudo skeleton with a big tail. We loved it so much that we made him sleep next to our beds. It is like we all were growing at the same time. The most interesting part was when he used to understand what I say. As if he knows Telugu. Not even hand signs but a mere change in the tone would explain everything. I still remember the way he shows his happiness, the way he surrenders when he does something wrong and his furiosity.

Hearing about a living being dying in a matter of time is very scary. Its like a cancer...more like a deadline. Yes, really a 'dead'line. Ofcourse, many might have experienced this painful time but it still scares them once they recollect the past.

Many say, facing death is the biggest fear a person can have. But losing your loved ones is the greatest fear of all. The best one could do is to take a good care and be close to him. I told my mother to take as many pictures of Bruno as they can. I hope to see Bruno when I go back in november. Again, its just a matter of time....................

1 comment:

Deepthi Tondupally said...

Very true, Loosing the loved one's is the biggest fear. I always pray god that please take me away before any one in my family, because I will be mentally dead with anything happens to my parents,brother and husband. These 4 people are my heart, soul and what not?

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