Departure...........

Day: Thursday
Date: August 18, 2005
Time: 7:20 A.M. (IST)
Place: My house

Event: Bruno expired

My bro called me in the night (EST time) and told me about this. I called amma and she started crying on phone. I think she cried so much that day as if a family member has expired. It was a family thing for us. Nanna was devastated to see his dog lying in front of the house, unmoved.

Exactly a month back, the doctor predicted that Bruno will be alive until 6 months and slowly its liver and spleen would stop funtioning. It would be hard to breathe and the stomach would swell. I think the doctor was correct. Everything has happened as he said, except for the time span. Nobody saw it coming, as the night before he expired he was very active and did his duties just as on any other day. Surprising thing is that everything happened all of a sudden which is not digestable fact for me.

I thought of it all the time. The way he used to play, act and talk to me........it was a gem of a dog. I always used to think that I can't see my dog dying in front of my eyes and I can't bear the fact its no more. Actually, I hoped to see him when I go in november this year. Atleast I could spend some time with him in his last days. But unfortunately, that didn't happen. The only memory of him is when I fed him last, before I left to US. It knew something was going on and also that I'm leaving. He was sniffing my suitcases and bag. It was more expressive with his eyes than a human being.

I think more than anybody else, it is tough for my nanna as he's the one who took care of both the dogs after I left home. He took Bruno and done with cremating him near the overbridge it seems. Definitely, my house will be of no life for a while without Bruno. He used to walk in all the rooms and always monitored us and almost made a mental note of where we are and what we were doing at each time.



He is the first being to greet me as I enter my house gate, after I came back from college. It was evening and time to take him for a walk. He used to see through that small gap between the gate and wag its tail as I came close to him. He always loved the way we used to touch him. He used to like it a lot and showed lots of emotions and love towards us. When my aunt was patting my back, he thought I was getting beatings from somebody and he used to pound on the other person. Such was his love for me. I virtually used to talk to him and he understands it very well.

I miss him. I miss all of it. When he came to our house, he used to follow me whereever I go and gave me company. I didn't have inclination for this dog in the begining. Once he kept his neck on top of my crossed-legs, while I was having my lunch, on the table. It was then that I realized that this is my dog and from here on he's my responsibility. I took good care of him..........I think.

I miss all of him now. I am helpless sitting 10,000 miles away from my home and thinking about him. I feel guilty of not being near him in his last days. I miss his presence, his expressive eyes, his walk, his roaring and his happiness with me.

My greatest fear........my weakness.........losing your loved ones.........thats what it is.